Dear Gypsies! Yesterday a client of mine asked me whether there were painful episodes in my life that my soul created so that it could transit to a higher plane. He wanted to know if I could give an example from my own life to illustrate the difference between what we want on a soul level and what we want with our ego and personality.
Years ago I was going out with a man, Mike. I was crazy about him. We had plans for the future, and I did everything to make him happy: I was attentive, loving, and faithful; I cooked, cleaned, bought gifts, and organized surprises. But, as the years were passing, I felt that he was slowly pulling away from me, and I had to work harder and harder to keep us together. Just making it from one month to the next felt like a thousand mile march. At one point he admitted that his love for me was gone and tried to leave me several times, but I would not accept his decision. I needed him, I wanted him and could not imagine life without him. I tried everything to turn his feelings back to me. Keeping his attention was exhausting, and by the time the blatant lies and the cheatings came, I was fatigued.
I remember that at one point, as I was sitting in my living room waiting for him, I looked at the wall and said it out loud: “Esther, the writing is on the wall. Why can’t you read it?”
To re-enforce that message, Mike never showed up that night. He claimed he forgot our appointment.
A few nights later, he called me and told me that this time he really had to break it off with me because of his wedding the week after; his wedding to someone else I never knew existed. And that was it; I finally understood the writing on the wall. I never spoke to him or saw him again after that.
When I told this story to my friend, he said: “surely, you understand now that he was not worth it; men like that are just not worth it.”
Well, before we get all teary-eyed, let’s look at this story from a higher plane and a broader angle. In hindsight, I can say that the experience with Mike, despite the pain, was very much worth it. It taught me lessons that my soul craved in order to get to the higher level where I am meant to be today: an advisor, a teacher, someone who illuminates, helps, encourages and examines the workings of the human spirit. This is my path. And the lessons that I learned from the Mike experience gave me the initial foundations of who I am today.
On a karmic level my soul created the Mike experience, so it could learn the lessons it needed to learn to become the person I am today. I suffered, but it was my soul who created my cheating lover.
I wanted Mike with my personality, my lust and my ego. But my soul used Mike as an opportunity to transit to a higher plane.
I held onto Mike, regardless of what my inner voice said to me. I did not want to let go, even though my soul already had enough and was ready to rise higher. So what happened? My soul created a crisis, in such a horrible way that all routes back to him were cut off: he was ripped out of my life, and my path lay clear before me; my soul was free to rise, my transition to a higher level was forced, the bridges were burned, and I took all that I learned.
My soul learned the lessons it had agreed upon learning, and it found the path it had agreed upon finding. I got what I wanted but not in earthly terms; I got what I wanted on a soul level. And here is the division between what we want with our personality, and what we crave on a soul level.
Today, I am glad it happened this way. I have never been happier in my life. Although, according to our contract in this lifetime with me Mike played the role of a scum, his role was pivotal: without his marrying someone else, we would still be dancing our painful dance, filled with guilt and false pleasures. I would never know what I know now, and I would never be who I am now.
You see, Mike was great, if for nothing else, to illustrate this example.
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