It’s finally happening, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Game of Thrones season 8 ends on Sunday, and across the realm people are looking for ways to cope. If the folks of Westeros have taught us anything, it’s that it’s best to look death in the face by throwing a huge party… just as long as it isn’t a wedding. We’ve come up with a guide to making sure you have the best Game of Thrones finale party possible, even if Emilia Clarke still won’t RSVP.
Decorating your castle
If our investment in top hats for ponies had paid off, we’d rent out an actual castle for our Game of Thrones finale party. As it is, we’ll just have to settle for making a small Brooklyn apartment feel a little bit more Westorosi. First stop, sourcing an Iron Throne. Luckily HBO has this 6 foot tall number for just $40.
Now, the carefully selected “ultimate beige” tones of my apartment just aren’t going to cut it for Thrones inspired selfies, and my landlord probably won’t take kindly to me daubing the walls in horse manure to make it feel more Dothraki, so I’ll be cheating and investing in a fabric wall hanging from Amazon that has a real “Cersei staring out of the window (pre-dragon)” feel to it. Buy it here for $13.
You can’t invite Game of Thrones superfans to a finale party and then expect them to drink out of your vintage collection of Garfield beakers. You need something befitting a queen, a knight, or god help you, Tormund Giantsbane. You could start off with something simple, like this collection of plastic party goblets from Amazon for $27.
For free folk you’ll definitely want to invest in something that makes them more comfortable. Something a little more rustic, like this genuine ox-horn viking drinking vessel for $35 from Amazon. We don’t recommend heading out into the fields and trying to make a DIY version.
If you want a gentle ambiance that says “I’ve burned more peasants alive than you’ve had hot dinners,” set the mood with a set of dragon egg candles straight from the folks at HBO for $27.
Providing a feast for your subjects
As Tyrion Lannister will tell you, the most important part of any meal is the liquids. Despite what you might have been led to believe recently, there is no Starbucks in Winterfell, and frozen margaritas haven’t yet reached King’s Landing. You can still stick with the theme though, and order some official Game of Thrones wine at Wine.com for $60. Will they taste like Ned Stark’s armpits? We can only hope.
When it comes to feeding your guests, you could try ordering roast boar from Seamless, or you could hire some of the village peasants to get into the kitchen and cook something from A Feast of Ice and Fire: The Official Game of Thrones Companion Cookbook, which you can find on Amazon for $24. Endorsed by Mr George R. R. Martin, it features recipes like Cream Swans, Tyroshi Honeyfingers and King’s Landing Quails Drowned in Butter.
Sourcing a dragon
The final step is the most important. Despite numerous ads on Craigslist and leaving roasted goat carcasses on my roof deck, I have yet to catch my own Drogon. Instead, I have instead decided that my own pet, a grumpy French Bulldog called Batman, will have to fake it for the finale. I’ve purchased this Night Fury Dragon Costume for $17 from Amazon. If you have a cat your options are limited – and honestly as a previous cat owner you’re taking your life into your hands getting them into fancy dress – but you could go for some $5 wings and hope for the best.
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